Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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