she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
