When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
