And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
