Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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