So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize