In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
