she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
