HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
