They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
