I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
