I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
