so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
