The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
