I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
