There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
