you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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