TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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