You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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