that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
