Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize