i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
