I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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