Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
