are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize