I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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