Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
