I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
