Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
