I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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