He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
