just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
