So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
