forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
