the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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