At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
In America we eat man semen.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
