ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
