the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
