Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
