I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
