I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
