Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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