we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
