People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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