all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
