Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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