dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
