ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
