Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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