fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
