Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
