I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
this is an emotional support booty call
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
