Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize